“Netflix and Chill” has become the eponymous slogan for modern dating. Nobody goes out anymore, but rather people tend to stay in to, as I said, watch Netflix and hang out. This usually leads to having sex, since dating still involves that, at least.

Netflix and Chill has been widely panned, almost entirely by women (that I’ve seen, anyway), as the end of the romantic dating era. The 1950s are looked at with whimsy as a time when men knew how to properly show a woman a good time. He’d pick her up in his car, drive her some place nice, pay for everything, and then maybe they’d make out a bit in the backseat before he takes her back home. Since sarcasm is occasionally hard to read in text based mediums, I will qualify my upcoming sentence as one that should be read as if it is dripping with sarcasm. I too am nostalgic for the relationships between men and women that existed before second wave feminism.

Most, if not all, of the traditional dating tropes heralded as respectful and chivalrous are examples of the domination of men over women. He picks her up because it is assumed she has no other way of getting around. He pays because he is the provider and she is servile. He makes all the decisions because she is incapable of such arduous tasks. Holding the door, pulling out the chair, treating her like a princess; all of these things put him in the position of power over her. There is a very good reason this method of dating is dying out, and it is because people realize that women are actually competent human beings, capable of both independence and autonomy. Who knew?

These expectations of dating are not entirely gone, however, and there is often lamentation toward their demise. Everyone likes being treated and spoiled every once in a while, and there is no harm in it of course. The harm arrives when it becomes gendered and based on sexist stereotypes. However, removing gender inequality from dating would not lead to Netflix and Chill, so what happened?

What happened can be answered by asking ourselves what we typically do in our spare time. When we’ve got time to kill, do we partake in a hobby, or read, or develop some talent, or otherwise engage in something that empowers ourselves as a human beings? No, probably not. The odds are good that we’re spending our time watching TV under a blanket, maybe with a glass of wine or something similar. Netflix and Chill has not become the standard version of dating because feminism ruined chivalry or because men have lost their authoritative dating masculinity, we Netflix and Chill because that’s all anyone ever does these days anyway.

Contemporary Western society exists as a collection of consumers who derive their identity from what it is they’ve consumed. People typically discuss the previous episodes or their expectations for Game of Thrones, or the Walking Dead, or the pretentious among us will talk about obscure shows and movies that nobody else has seen. And we accept this as normal. Even things outside of the media are based on what it is we’ve consumed. “Have you tried this restaurant?” or “I went to this bar/club the other night and it was amazing!” Even if daters escape the slothful confines of the couch and television, they are still likely to define their relationship on the basis of what it is they consume together. And so we Netflix and Chill because that is all we know how to do.

So yes, Netflix and Chill is a ridiculous form of dating. If you are opposed to the idea, don’t become nostalgic for a time when men were men and women were glad of it, because then your anachronistic sexism will pull feminist progress back 60 years. Maybe develop your own interests beyond the things you consume, and then assert those interests with potential dates. You’re allowed.

Of course, the only reasonable way to measure science would be scientifically; that is to say, objectively. So how do we measure science scientifically? Well, by subtracting all value, science could only be measured quantitatively. We know x about the universe, we know how to do y, and we know how z happens, and we add those up and that is the measure of science. Science is really just a series of notches on humanity’s belt. Unfortunately for science, even this measure is flawed because scientific data tends to be paradigmatic and something we learned today could very well be considered false tomorrow. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing as recognizing science’s fallibility is often celebrate by the scientifically minded, but since valuing fallibility is a value, it can’t be taken into account by our measure of science and must be discarded. The scientific measure of science ends up being mostly disappointing.

Luckily, we don’t measure science scientifically. I don’t think many people would equate the invention of the printing press with the invention of the slinky, as a quantitative approach would mandate. Collectively, we tend to value the spread of information more than we do the warped physics of spirals and staircases. We value penicillin because we happen to enjoy being alive. We value the observation of space because we tend to be a very curious species about the universe surrounding us. We value sliced bread because doing the slicing ourselves is always just such a mess. We aren’t looking for the cure for cancer because we think it would be a neat little factoid, we are looking for a cure for cancer because we value not dying from cancer. Obviously each person’s values will be different and people will value some scientific discoveries higher than others, that is just the subjective nature of individuality. In the end though, we measure science by our cultural values, and then somewhat ironically celebrate science for abstaining from participating in those same cultural values. So it’s a curiosity to me that we tend to ignore the measure of the process with which we measure everything else.

Today we live in something that I heard one time and loved: the Christian hangover. What this means is that Christianity in the West was kind of a big deal right up until God died, and then we mostly forgot about it. However, parts of it carried on and we’re using a bit of the hair of the dog to tide us over. What this means for our value system is that the old Christian values still remain without any of the God backing them up. We still consider murder and stealing bad, for example, but the reason nobody questions why is because we still assume the absolutist nature of morality that is associated with Christian belief, even though the ‘why’ is gone.

So why is murdering somebody a bad thing? Maybe people get as far as that we shouldn’t harm others, but then you have to ask further questions like, what constitutes harm? and WHY shouldn’t we harm others? Do we adopt the social contract model where I won’t harm you so you don’t harm me? Do we consider this self-interested approach a valid basis for morality?

Unfortunately, by not asking these questions, or by tacitly ignoring those who do, our baser nature has seeped into our cultural values and infected them. We celebrate greed and selfishness by declaring the ultimate goal of individuals in society to be succeeding financially at any cost. We’re taught not to go into the arts, but into something that will get us a job. To compete with our peers rather than cooperate with them. Our science reflects these values and most scientific development centres around product enhancement and resource extraction, or ultimately just something to eventually sell. We sacrifice our passions so that we can live according to values begotten by an amnesia of how we got to this point in the first place.

I don’t mean to suggest that during the Christian era there was a mightier moral fibre, but that there was a guideline (created by a grassroots organization, mind you) against which things could be effectively measured. Today, with that guideline gone, we’ve essentially allowed the dominant power group to define the new set of guidelines against which everything is to be measured. Unfortunately, we are too blinded by our scientific mindset which alienates moral questioning with its dismissal of values to efficiently retaliate for a more effective cultural value system.

I don’t plan on proselytizing my own value system to replace the current one (in this blog, anyway), I merely want to illuminate what I perceive to be a fatal flaw in the scientific worldview: namely its avoidance of values and the consequences that follow from that.

Today marks a day that all Canadians recognize as the day we honour our veterans and the sacrifices they have made over the course of our nation’s history.

It is not enough, however, to solely remember the innumerable soldiers who gave their lives. It is crucial we remember why.

What drives someone to die for their country? What makes a soldier give up their homes and their families to fight halfway across the globe?

These soldiers we remember today died for a story. They fought so that their families, children, and grandchildren could live in a peaceful, free, and just society. They believed in the ideal of their nation and gave everything they had in pursuit of it.

Did they succeed? Absolutely. We no longer live in a country where we need to worry about dying as we continue to fight for peace, freedom, and justice, but this does not mean that the story that has claimed so many young lives has yet come true.

We remember today those who have fought so that we might continue to fight. Our ideal still eludes us. The war may be over, but the battle continues.

Lest we forget.