Archives for posts with tag: addiction

Freedom sure sounds great, doesn’t it? It inspires whole convoys, after all. There is an entire American congressional caucus dedicated to it! We’re supposed to let it ring, and for that privilege, we are charged a buck-oh-five. There are statues dedicated to the very notion of liberty, and yet it remains vague and undetermined, generally on purpose by those advocating for it. Typically ‘Freedom’ in the political sphere means rich people not having to pay any taxes, but that’s never explicit, and so people often have this vague, fuzzy feeling about the term that’s generally positive. So what does freedom actually entail? Is it more than just feeling secure against the threat of terrorists and commies through lower corporate tax rates?

Freedom, when pressed, is obviously about the freedom to choose. We can’t choose anything if Sharia Law is enforced and we all have to convert to Islam, or the communists have us all wearing the same grey sweatsuit lining up for the same loaves of bread. Freedom means being able to choose between loaves of bread and the freedom to convert to Christianity!! Right? To an extent. Freedom in its most absolute sense would be all the choices from choosing between two loaves of bread to killing yourself. If we are truly free, there are an infinite number of choices available to us at any given moment.

Memes, you’re definitely growing on me as an educational resource

Does this sound terrifying? It should! The freest person in the world is the recovering drug addict. Their entire lives were previously dedicated to all aspects of doing drugs: grinding to get the drugs, doing the drugs, a short grace period to do some wallowing, and then grinding again. It’s a loop that’s hard to escape, but it does happen. When it does, that person has only known a very constrained lifestyle, and now, without any of it, they are free to do literally whatever they want. Maybe they might go back to school, or start working again, or reconnect with their sober friends. Or maybe they might travel, or go to a treatment centre, or move to a new home away from their drug den, or go for a walk or a movie or the library or the mall or a drop-in centre or a counseling session or a swim in the ocean or a music festival or back home to their parents or a cry in the shower or, as has been established, just end it all. These are choices that must be made every second of every day without any idea of when this flood of choice will end. People off themselves all the time in recovery, and part of the reason is the amount of freedom that they have. The experience of absolute freedom is a void of unknown and infinite possibility, an expanse of overwhelming nothingness ahead of you, and you are the only person responsible and capable for taking that desolate void, both outside and inside of yourself, and turning it into a worthwhile life. Alcoholics Anonymous tells recovering addicts to take things one day at a time simply to limit the number of choices people in this precarious and vulnerable position have to make. The existential anxiety of making a choice is so great that many people relapse simply because the miserable cycle of drug use is at least a known quantity and has a degree of comfort in taking those choices away. Anyone calling them a coward for this has never undergone the experience.

Limiting freedom is actually quite healthy for normies too! You ever hear of structure and routine? They’re great ways to stay healthy. People have a hard time making it to the gym when they have to choose to go to the gym, but when it becomes habit, and they are no longer actually choosing to go, they now have a routine. This is actually incredibly beneficial! If someone is feeling low and unable to do much, their bodies will automatically follow the routine they’ve habituated, and voila! They’ve still made it to the gym despite their blues, and you know what? They’re probably feeling a bit better because of it. Obviously the reverse is true with bad habits, but creating a good life is about creating good and healthy habits. Even something like making a list is helpful because it forces our decisions into a box that restricts our choices to the items listed – they get done because we don’t allow ourselves to choose outside of that box. The irony of freedom’s celebrity is that the goal of life is reduce the number of choices we actually have to make on a day-to-day basis; we just automatically make lunch for work the next day, or go to bed at a reasonable hour, or use the healthy groceries that we buy rather than leave them to rot in our refrigerators. Success comes when our lives are mostly automated, and an automated lifestyle is not a free one.

Pictured: successful humans

This seems somewhat intuitive. Has anyone faced a major life choice and thought: wow, this is a pleasurable experience! Or was there a lot of anxiety and catastrophizing about what the future might look like whether you choose this or that? Especially once you realize that not making a choice is also a choice, and allowing the status quo to perpetuate itself is one of those infinite choices you have to deal with. If a choice seems easy, it’s likely because you’ve been culturally primed to accept that choice as typical and normal – and how free is that of a choice, really? Jean-Paul Sartre, notorious philosopher of freedom, tells us we are “condemned to freedom.’ Choosing negates all other possible choices, and is a terrifying, inescapable, and necessary experience.

And I do think it’s necessary! Don’t get me wrong: I’m not against freedom! We must choose. Having someone else making these major choices for us is an unforgiveable oppression. Just, as with everything, in healthy moderation. Even those Freedom Truckers wore their seatbelts on their drive to Ottawa, and had nothing to say about seatbelt mandates, or traffic light mandates, or pants mandates. No one was out there protesting their freedom to not wear pants, only masks, even though the arguments against pants are way more grounded in science than the arguments against masks!

Don’t you just hate them?

So why is freedom, something that actually kinda sucks, celebrated like it’s the fundamental aspect of Western civilization? I mean, I think it’s reasonable to yadda, yadda, yadda over the escape from the tyranny of the British monarchy since the freedom I’m describing goes well beyond the fight for democracy, but I think the Freedom of today has far evolved beyond that democratic rebellion oh so many centuries ago. Given the link between the fascistic elements of Western society and claims of Freedom, I think that much is clear! So what is it? My personal thoughts are that Freedom has come to represent the dream of a meritocracy. We obviously aren’t living in a meritocracy, but if we are Free, then we must be! I earned my life through the choices I’ve made, and if there are outside social factors subtly influencing my position in life, then the value of my merit is lessened. If I am Free, I am not determined. Whether my life is good or bad, it is my own. I have carved out my place in this world, and the only way that that’s going to change is if the commies and terrorists are allowed to come take our Freedoms away. When people talk about Freedom, they aren’t actually talking about freedom at all since, as discussed, freedom is an incredible burden foisted upon us by an uncaring universe. They’re talking about dignity. I matter because I am Free. Their vitriolic shouts of Freedom and spittle aren’t a call for action, but a plea to have the meaning of their actions recognized.

Freedom is a good thing in the same way that democracy and socialism are good things; we ought to have a choice in our governments and our workplaces. We ought to have choices in our own lives even as we aspire to limit them. Those choices can be painful, and an overwhelming amount of freedom is such a sublime threat that I pray none of you ever have to face that kind of dread. Freedom is… fine, I guess. We’ve become kinda weird about it, but that’s because society has become kinda weird. We’ve become so disconnected from the world around us that we actually insist on it now; if the world is connected to me in any way, then what I do doesn’t matter! How broken of a culture is that? Freedom with a capital F has seemingly become the last bastion of being okay with ourselves while all other forms of meaning are being erased by those who profit off our existential despair. This is why Freedom and fascism can exist in tandem. The thing is though, we can create our own meaning without having to believe that we are alone in creating it. Being alone sucks, but being free around other people means respecting their freedom which often means limiting our own. Given we’ve established that limiting our freedom can be a good thing generally, this shouldn’t be seen as a threat, but as a way to lead a happier, healthier, and more cohesive lifestyle.

I am choosing to add this image to this blog, not because it is relevant in any way, but because I want to. Or am I only doing it to adhere to the goal I set for myself in my previous blog? How free of a choice was this really?

Freedom is like eating our vegetables. We don’t want to do it, but we have to, and if we can find a way to make them more appealing by dousing them in the ranch dressing of moderation, that’s probably for the best. What we don’t want is for Freedom to distract us from the reality of freedom. Freedom more often than not needs to be limited, whether that’s to avoid existential dread, to have a healthy routine, or simply to get along well with others. This doesn’t eliminate meaning, but enhances it. Freedom with a capital F is a lie. Freedom with a lower case f is all we have, all we are condemned to endure. Best to make the most of it!

Part I

Vancouver is Dying starts with a threat to its viewers. You are not safe; every day there is a statistically improbable risk that you will be assaulted by a stranger. The cops have been castrated by woke mandates to avoid overt brutality, and so the city has run amok. There are no consequences to the choices people make, so we mourn the passing of a once great city. The reason for all of this… is drugs. Not poverty; not the civil disenfranchisement of a particular neighbourhood; not the modern cumulation of centuries of colonialism. It’s drugs. Possibly woke-ism too, since the defecator of this trash, Aaron Gunn, literally says that the Left believes opiates are a good thing, but he focuses on drugs as the root of Vancouver’s degeneration. Drugs, we are told, are bad.

Lest we forget!

Despite being the alleged cause of everything evil that’s happening in Vancouver, Gunn doesn’t actually spend all that much time talking about them. What is a drug? Alcohol has been shown to be the most destructive addictive substance, but I guess alcohol is irrelevant to the Downtown Eastside (it’s not). Both sugar and caffeine hit the same dopamine receptors in your brain as crystal meth, but those also don’t count (how many people reading this rely on caffeine to enable their daily functioning?). We can also safely ignore process addictions too, like gambling and video games. When Gunn talks about drugs, he only means the highly unregulated ones, the ones they don’t advertise on TV. Seeing the harms of addiction in a wider context of mass consumerism might lead to… a criticism of capitalism! And we can’t have that.

So of course Gunn avoids that context to the best of his ability. In the few brief interactions he has with active drug users, he asks one what she thinks about addiction. She brushes off the harms that everyone already knows about with street drugs to talk about global addictions, like the equally suicidal addiction humanity has with oil and gas, or the addiction to money in the financial markets, or the addiction to consumer goods we might indulge in after losing our life’s purpose during a midlife crisis. Rather than discuss the threads linking micro and macro addiction, Gunn says, behind her back, that she must be in denial. She didn’t deny that her drug use was harmful; she just wanted to talk about the context as to why all of these problems exist, and Gunn absolutely does not. So he calls her delusional without giving her an opportunity to respond – but who cares; she’s just a supid junkie, right?

Only one of these counts as a person.

According to Gunn, addiction is a silo that only impacts a ‘certain type’ of person, and isn’t connected at all to the culture or global habits surrounding it. So where does it come from? Why do people use drugs? Drugs seem kind of bad, so how come so many Vancouverites… sorry, people specifically in the DTES and nowhere else… how come they do the drugs? Par for the course, Gunn doesn’t really explain. He makes one inference, and expects the viewer to figure it out for themselves.

The closest Gunn comes to explaining where drug use comes from is by talking about the choices that some homeless people make to stay in the street. Our old friend Colonel Quaritch has the unmitigated gall to suggest that it’s easy to get housing in Vancouver (as a social worker, I found this to be particularly offensive), and Gunn doubles down on this by showing that there has been 1,400 new supportive housing built over the past four years, with 350 new ones being built. Of course, those 1,400 are already full (the waitlist for supportive housing is a couple of years), and there are an additional 2,000 homeless people that need help, so his optimism is… misplaced. We can also combine his bullshit with another ignored statistic that about 7,000 housing units are in need of replacement, and we can see that the rumours about the challenge of housing in Vancouver are in fact true. Turns out it is expensive and difficult to find housing in Vancouver! Who could have guessed!?

I will put this in every single one of my blogs from now on if I have to.

Okay that rant was mostly for my own benefit, but let’s return to Gunn. He wants to show that the chaos is a choice – that the option for stability is there for those who want it, but that people live in squalor and disease because… they’re crazy, I guess? A DTES resident tells him that people sometimes choose to live in the streets because of the restrictions in a lot of the supportive housing units, and then that’s enough for him. No point in exploring what those restrictions might be, or what the benefits of the streets might be otherwise, just enough that we have captured a DTES “resident” confirming what we already know. People who use drugs are just completely irrational.

It turns out though, that even people who use drugs are rational in their choices – they are just too often limited in the choices they can make. If a drug user has a choice between using drugs in such a way that it is likely to kill them, or to use drugs in a way that is likely to not, they’re going to choose the way that allows them to avoid death. Rational! Same thing with homelessness. If we talk to people who do choose that lifestyle, they are often fleeing violence that is pervasive in shelters and some SROs, or they want to live in a community of mutual aid amongst their peers without officious oversight. The restrictions that Gunn avoids talking about are typically restrictions on visitors, meaning that your loved ones aren’t allowed to visit. This means you essentially can’t have a partner or children or friends. If I foreshadow a bit that the opposite of addiction is connection, then we can see that these restrictions would actually encourage drug use rather than help eliminate it. It would be rational for someone to choose their loved ones over rat/lice/bedbug/cockroach infested housing, wouldn’t it? Gunn even acknowledges that a lot of the housing is awful, that it’s filled with drug dealers and drug users, but then seems vindicated in degrading homeless people when he’s able to confirm that people don’t want to live there because of that very awfulness. He doesn’t offer a clarion call for better housing in more suburban neighbourhoods where people might escape violence, addiction, and poverty because presumably that would entail the spread of their disease into the ‘purer’ neighbourhoods.

Good miniseries on this very topic!

If people don’t use drugs because they’re just cuckoo-bananapants, then why? It’s a question that should have been at the forefront of anything trying to be a documentary about drugs.

The secret they don’t tell you about drugs is that they’re not actually bad. Drugs are amazing. You’ve likely at least had sugar, caffeine, and alcohol, and most people have a lot of fun with those things! The trouble with drugs isn’t that they’re so amazing that they become addictive, it’s that they’re a problem for those people whose lives are so awful, so that when they do take drugs, their amazing-ness brings them to about normal. Heroin feels like a warm, loving hug; imagine what that must be like for someone who has never felt a secure connection. The first experience of drugs that people who often become addicted is usually, “this must be what everyone else feels like all of the time!”

Addiction typically begins around adolescence when teenagers are supposed to be learning how to cope with complex emotions, and if someone with a lot of complex emotions learns that drugs are an incredibly effective way at dealing with them, that’s how they learn. Just like it’s hard to learn a new language once our first becomes so ingrained into our way of navigating the world, so too is it a challenge to learn a new way to process our emotions once we’ve already established something that works. The physical dependence of drugs can be overcome in a few days, and for drugs like crystal meth, you literally just sleep it off and then you’re done. The psychological dependence, the need to numb yourself from all those accumulated feelings, that’s what causes relapse. You may have heard that an addiction is a behaviour that continues despite negative consequences; well, the negative consequences of not using are often worse. Feeling decades of trauma all at once when the drugs wear off is more often than not still worse than any infected absess. Drugs are not the problem of addiction. It’s just that people with addiction have drugs as their only workable solution to help them cope with what they’re going through, and it’s hard to learn other ways – particularly when drugs work so well and so quickly. Some call addiction a learning disorder rather than a disease for this very reason.

When I was a child, I had a fever. My hands felt just like two balloons. Now I’ve got that feeling once again. I can’t explain, you would not understand; this is not how I am!

Rat Park is an experiment that sought to question the original idea of addiction. We once understood addiction as absolute – a rat was put in a cage, and had two options: a regular water, and water laced with cocaine. Those rats consistently chose the cocaine water until they died. Rat park was an alternative: rats were put in a cage with tubes and balls and other fun rat activities and, most importantly, with other rats. The two water options were the same, but these rats only had the cocaine water every once in a while. The rats lived full and healthy lives, and occasionally got to have wild parties when they opted to go for the cocaine water. Remarkably, rats from the first cage could be put into Rat Park, and they would lose their addiction relatively quickly. To sum up, it’s never been about the drugs, but about the lives of the people who use them.

What if we understand addiction as a response to something rather than the problem itself? Looking at process addictions and less stereotyped substances might become relevant to our thesis. Global patterns that impact culture might contribute to the so-called disease. If we are told to always be consuming more and more to avoid loneliness, grief, to find meaning, then perhaps a comparison to a midlife crisis sports car is actually quite apt, and it is Gunn that is actually the one in denial. What is addiction a response to? If it is getting worse, what is going on in the world that is exacerbating it? I guess if we never ask what addiction or drugs are, then we avoid that pesky subject entirely.

Enough trauma can manifest itself anywhere to produce an addiction, but the most visible problems from it sure do seem to crop up in one particular demographic. I’m sure it’s nothing!

Drugs start out as the rational choice to cope with childhood trauma, to the point where drugs can even save someone from suicide. That becomes their only method of coping, and then they become stuck in that lifestyle even past the point when its consequences start to outweigh its benefits. Ending drug use is only ever really an option if the person has meaningful activities and connection waiting for them on the other side, in an environment stable enough to maintain it. Do police and jail sound like the optimal environment to provide that? Is Gunn right that we should be bullying people into quitting drugs? Or should we recognize that a sober lifestyle just isn’t a reasonable option for a lot of people given their circumstances within capitalism, and do our best to support them in the world they’re stuck with, recognizing and respecting their rational choice in opting to live this way? Perhaps we could make sure that the drugs they take don’t kill them, since they’re human beings still worthy of dignity, perhaps more worthy given the wars they’ve lived through.

Fuck them, says Gunn. They will live and die as he decrees. Join us next time, when Aaron Gunn will try to suggest that having more harm for people who have endured so much already is a good thing actually.

Part III

The communist that everyone loves to hate, Joseph Stalin, is credited with having said that, “The death of one is a tragedy, but the death of millions is just a statistic.” This obviously refers to the intimate heartbreak of having some one person in our lives pass away versus the math class-styled boredom humanity possesses toward the deaths of millions of “other” people. Now I can very easily link this to the anti-vaxxers who either shrug off or outright deny the literal millions of people who have died from Covid-19, but I’m not going to because the vast majority of Canadians have recognized the severe nature of the disease and acted accordingly. The point I’m actually going to make is that the response to this pandemic refutes the quotation: millions died, but there was action taken to mitigate those deaths on a global scale. Despite the impossibility of connecting on a personal level to all of those who were dying, we all got together to do something about this catastrophe. Covid is more than just a statistic; it’s human enough to elicit a response.

On the other hand, we have the communist that everyone hates to love, Karl Marx, being credited with having stolen this line from Friedrich Engels, “First as tragedy, then as farce.” This is referring to the notion that when tragic history repeats itself, the second instance is often a cruel parody of the first. If the deaths from Covid are the tragedy, then drug overdose deaths are the on-going farce.

And we all know Marx liked to party.

In British Columbia, we’ve had 3,547 deaths from Covid so far; in contrast, since the start of the pandemic until March of this year, there have been 4,552 deaths from drug overdoses, with 2022 set to outpace the previous record from the year before. Certainly the measures taken to limit the impact of Covid have significantly reduced the number of deaths that we would have faced otherwise, but we have harm reduction measures to mitigate drug deaths too with remarkable success (no one dies from overdose at safe injection sites, for instance). My point is that one set of deadly statistics was collectively agreed upon to be a tragedy, and the other was not.

Some might argue that a drug overdose death isn’t the same because they cynically believe addiction to be a choice, and therefore, a death arising from that choice is the addict’s own fault. I don’t think that this belief is as prevalent as it used to be. BC just decriminalized small amounts of all drugs, and even the conservative news outlet, the National Post, is framing this decision as being in response to a health crisis. Obviously it’s a health condition, right? Everyone is saying so.

This looks like candy, and I want to eat it.

In response to this fading belief of personal choice resulting in death, alleged advocates will point out that many of the overdose deaths are not regular substance users, but result from those who casually use drugs receiving a sketchy concoction that they were not physiologically prepared for. This is trying to paint a picture where real humans are dying from drug overdoses, so please care about them! Don’t think this is just sub-human junkies! This could just be someone who likes to party! You like to party, right? Even Marx liked to party!

This mad dash to declare addiction a health crisis to eliminate stigma is inevitably destined to fail. During the AIDS epidemic, people were stigmatized not because of the disease ravaging their bodies, but because they were gay. Everyone knew it was a health crisis, but nobody cared because it was ideologically chained to the homos. Similarly with opioid deaths: you can scream all you want that it’s a health crisis, but no one is going to detach drug use from drug users. Destigmatizing drug use will never work so long as we’re ignoring the stigma attached to the users themselves.

I expect that a drug user Pride event would be less colourful, but probably more fun… cuz, ya know, the drugs

If we see stigma as being attached to the addict in the same way that AIDS stigma was attached to the gay community, then what is it about filthy junkies that we just hate so much!? What biblical sin have drug users committed that earned them this stigma? Well, drug users are racialized, for one. They’re poor. They’re abused. They’re hobbled. They’re men (not in a femi-nazi way, but in a “failed men deserve to be discarded” way). Drug users are imbued with the sin of being socially despicable across all fronts. When society starts to embrace its homeless, when Indigenous people stop being followed around in stores, when we stop pitying the disabled, and when we allow diversity within masculinity, then maybe, the stigma against drug users will wane. Unfortunately, we’re nowhere near that.

The ads I see around town regarding substance use these days are linked to the Drug Free Kids organization which, hence the name, advocates an abstinence-based approach to drugs. We’re still teaching our kids abstinence-only programs like we were sex educators in 1950s America. It’s like we haven’t progressed at all since Nancy Reagan told us to just say no. We seem to have evolved passed the puritanism that demonized sex before marriage, accepting that kids are gonna bone and that’s okay, but we have not yet exorcized the demons from the devil’s weed.

I haven’t seen the show, but I wouldn’t believe you if you told me that none of these kids bone

Remember when sex would immediately result in pregnancy and syphilis? From my old textbook on addiction, “Estimates are that only around one-third of people who have injected heroin become addicted, compared to 22% for cocaine and 8% for marijuana. Only one drug causes addiction among a majority of its users—nicotine.” This little tidbit is completely irrelevant because we don’t want our babies to grow up to be crippled natives living on the street, and complete abstinence is the only way to be sure. Our reaction to drug users is an emotional response curated by centuries of racist, ableist, and classist attitudes, and patriarchal definitions of men. Any kind of drug education or strategy that isn’t addressing that is actively harming our chances at overcoming the opioid crisis.

The millions of deaths from Covid-19 are a tragedy because in theory, if not in practice, it can impact anyone regardless of status. There’s no stigma to it. I got Covid. You probably got Covid. Overdose deaths are for “them.” No matter how much the term “health crisis” gets bandied about to proselytize a benign neutrality, it won’t stop drugs from being a social issue. When we stop the farce and address those social issues, then maybe it will be just as okay for people to use drugs as it is for kids to bone.