Archives for posts with tag: happiness

Everyone wants to be happy. Being happy is so critically important that the pursuit of it is literally a right guaranteed by the American Declaration of Independence. Thousands of books have been written about that pursuit, and given their continued publication one can only assume that the pursuit has yet to be concluded. Happiness is always just one more life-affirming meme away, ever out of our grasp. Perhaps this is due to the elusive definition of happiness, for what does it mean to be happy? Wikipedia defines it as “a mental or emotional state of well-being defined by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy.” So, accordingly, happiness is varying degrees of synonyms for happiness. That is super helpful.

Since I’ve already ragged on memes once, let’s see if they can redeem themselves, and we’ll try to learn what they can teach us about defining happiness since the ever-infallible Wikipedia ended up being a disaster. This website has a collection of “Happiness Is” memes that describe various instances when the word ‘happy’ seems appropriate, such as not having to set your alarm clock for the next morning, or finding an old family album. These examples give quite an accurate depiction of how many people view happiness: ephemeral events that elicit an upswell of positive emotion. Happiness can’t be defined linguistically because it exists beyond descriptive vocabulary as an almost spiritual experience, and it arrives in a way that we only recognize when we feel it.

Now when we live by the maxim that “if it’s in a meme then it is factually improbable,” as we all should, we’re forced to analyze this version of happiness more discerningly. If happiness is as laudable as the profit-driven self-help industry claims it to be, then we’re dedicating all of our life goals to a fix. We hop from island of bliss to island of bliss, desperately searching for that next dopamine rush, dreading the moments in between. That sounds a lot less like a fulfilling existence and more like Jennifer Connelly’s character at the end of Requiem for a Dream. Is most of life utterly without value? Discounting the feelings outside of happiness is the pinnacle of delusion. Creativity requires a good deal of personal suffering and frustration. Inside Out taught us that even sadness has its own virtue, and anger is often the healthiest response to unjust events. Happiness has never once moved the world forward, and if we only celebrate positive emotion then we are putting pacification above progress.If our sole focus is maintaining a happy persona, we may even disregard warning signals of an impending crisis simply because to acknowledge it would get in the way of our placid, happy thoughts.

Regardless of my argument, people will still pursue happiness. Not because they’re meme-loving sycophants abstaining from reasonable thought to endorse the epidemic cult of positivity, but because as human beings we intrinsically strive for it. Even a curmudgeon like myself still seeks to find the light in this world of darkness. The Founding Fathers were not dumb, and their inclusion of happiness was not a mistake. Even Aristotle suggested that a life of happiness ought to be a person’s ultimate goal. Aristotle, however, had a different definition of happiness from today’s life coaches peddling their snake oil. He believed that a happy life was one of virtue, and happiness was derived from adhering to the golden mean rather than embodying the hedonistic platitudes of fucking internet memes.

Of course there are plenty of faults in Aristotle’s Virtue ethics, but he began a philosophy of happiness where it wasn’t understood as an emotion, but as a way of life. Nietzsche expanded on this philosophy by saying that the happiest people were those who thrived in suffering, and could create meaning through it. Have some irony:

Wisdom without context. The highest plateau a meme can achieve.

Wisdom without context: the highest peak a meme can achieve.

Here is a happiness that could weather any negativity, for it is a way of life that thrives in any emotional state. It is a happiness that demands value and purpose to enhance our life, rather than a narcotic high to dull it. Nietzsche’s philosophical meaning is somewhat controversial, but the brilliant Viktor Frankl survived the culmination of Nietzschean values, and in doing so, created his much more widely accepted interpretation. According to Frankl, a meaningful life is found through our works, our connection to others, and/or our attitudinal outlook.

This last point may seemingly endorse a meme-spirited happiness delusion, so let’s address that nonsense before it gets out of hand. Have another meme:

This post is now officially my least favourite blog.

This post is now officially my least favourite blog.

I sincerely doubt that this meme is referring to a meaning-based form of happiness, given the message of its sister-meme here:

It's because I hate memes. That's why it's my least favourite blog. I really shouldn't have to spell this out.

It’s because I hate memes. That’s why it’s my least favourite blog. I really shouldn’t have to spell this out.

but we’ll give them an intellectual boost and just assume that some degree of intelligence went into their production, and that they are in fact referring to Frankl’s attitudinal outlook dictating happiness as the representation of purpose.

Frankl viewed the attitudinal approach to meaning as the absolute last resort. He saw it as the only option in approaching the Nazi gas chambers with either dignity or shame. This isn’t a Godwin argument; look him up. He says that if there is even a chance at overcoming a negative situation, to adopt a positive outlook in spite of it is to embrace irrational masochism. The solution is always to change the circumstances, not the attitude.

There is also an underlying tone of condescending individualism in these insipid and ridiculous memes. To say that the person who is wealthy and employed has the same choice to be happy as the broke bum who just lost their job is statistically wrong. Saying happiness is a choice is being oblivious to the countless circumstances that have a direct impact on our well-being. Oh, you lost your baby in a miscarriage after five years of trying for a child? All you need is a change of perspective, and you’ll feel better! That’s an asshole thing to say. Like the worst thing. Never say that. To reiterate: other emotions are necessary parts of our lives, to demand happiness at all times is unnatural and cruel, and to call emotions a choice is completely ignorant of our instinctual reactions. It’s wrong no matter how you define happiness.

At what level are we responsible, if at all, for the happiness of others? Meaning is entirely unique and subjective, so we can’t exactly create it for other people. However, Frankl’s second aspect of meaning is a connection to others, which does suggest that if we are open and caring then we create meaning both for ourselves and for those with whom we come into contact. That sounds like a good start.

What about collective responsibility? If we recognize happiness as meaning, and Mazlow’s hierarchy of needs puts “self-actualization” at the top of the pyramid, wouldn’t that mean that a country that promises its citizens the right to pursue happiness must accommodate all the underlying needs in order for that promise to be fulfilled? Happiness can’t even begin to be pursued until the third level of “love and belonging,” and even then there would need to be a societal agreement and plan to abolish discrimination of all kinds. The progress on that 240 year old promise is a little slow. Way to make liars out of the Founding Fathers, America.

Happiness as an emotional state is nice, I guess, but when planning out one’s life that version should only play the most minor of roles. Pursue meaning. Pursue purpose and value. Treat the happiness that we strive for as a way of being that incorporates the full spectrum of emotion. Live a fulfilling life, and allow that life to connect with others. Define happiness properly, and stop learning how to live from fucking memes!

Have some links:

Say No to Happiness – Ideas with Paul Kennedy: A CBC radio show investigating the philosophical implications of happiness and meaning, and which is more important.

Smile Or Die – Barbara Ehrenreich: The social implications of the cult of positivity.

Why Be Happy When You Can Be Interesting? – Slavoj Žižek: Žižek is a combination of popular neo-communist philosophy and that one scene from Dazed and Confused. These are his thoughts on happiness.

John Stuart Mill once told us that it is better to be Socrates dissatisfied than a fool satisfied. There is a merit to misery that is simply unavailable to genuinely happy people, and what comes with it is usually a more fulfilling, well-rounded life. Much greatness has come from anguish and despair, and we never would have experienced the brilliance of Ernest Hemingway or Vincent Van Gogh if they weren’t a couple of Gloomy Guses. Here are five habits of miserable people that will help you share the successful lifestyle of a pathetic wretch:

1. Outward Reflection: If one were to examine the world, one would find it heavily flawed. They say that ignorance is bliss, and quite frankly it is. If you want to enjoy a nice bout of depression, pick an issue, any issue. Wonder about the environment? Read up on it. See what the people who study it have to say about it, and then see what the people in power are doing about it. The more you learn and study the world, the more your crippling cynicism will develop, ruining any potential good mood you might ever possess again!

They're called "Little People!"

They’re called “Little People” and they shouldn’t be tossed!

 

2. Inward Reflection: If we turn our mind inwards, we can potentially find another well of sadness to dip our beaks into. They say that the instant you start to wonder about whether or not you’re happy, you can no longer be happy. Self-reflection is antithetical to happiness because happiness exists outside of thought in a shallow but euphoric high. If one critically examines their life, they will inevitably find flaws and regrets to dampen their mood, but in doing so will also create a deeper understanding of their Self and identity that they would otherwise never find.

Back there I could fly a gunship, I could drive a tank, I was in charge of million dollar equipment, back here I can't even hold a job *parking cars*!

Back there I could fly a gunship, I could drive a tank, I was in charge of million dollar equipment, back here I can’t even hold a job *parking cars*!

 

3. Attachment: It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. This is actually a terrible thing to say to someone in the throes of heartbreak, and they would be quite justified in punching you in the face if you do. However, the amount of despair that accompanies a breakup is reflective of that person’s capacity to love. If one felt nothing, then this indicates an utter lack of human connection. The crushing loss or disappointment that inescapably goes hand in hand with attaching your heart to someone or something displays the full extent of that person’s ability to love.

I can't believe he invaded her "Bay of Pigs"... if you catch my meaning

I can’t believe he invaded her “Bay of Pigs”… if you catch my meaning

 

4. Striving: If someone never expected anything of themselves, and drifted listlessly through life without any direction or ambition, then they would likely be quite content. It is those who try, and then quite likely fail, who suffer despondently. Was it your aspiration to be a big movie star? Unfortunately, after all those acting classes and unpaid internships at a movie studio you’re still serving coffee to aggravating, entitled assholes. Those who dream, those who fight, those who try, they are the ones who push us forward, and they are the ones who get the headache for it.

God damn it, Lex. Every. Fucking. Time.

God damn it, Lex. Every. Fucking. Time.

 

5. Anguish: Fear is different from anguish because fear is related to something that can be physically or psychologically dealt with. Anguish exists as a contemplation of possibilities. When we wonder, “What am I going to do?” we recognize our freedom to choose, and all the responsibility that comes along with it. When we acknowledge the infinite number of choices we have, and how even one will eliminate all others, we are gripped with dread.  Our ability to choose precludes happiness. If we have the choice between A and B, and can switch back and forth at a whim, we will never be as happy with whatever we end up with than if we were simply stuck with A from the get-go.

How will I ever save my franchise? More aliens? Less aliens? AUGH!

How will I ever save my franchise? More aliens? Less aliens? AUGH!

 

So let’s hear it for the learned, self-aware, free and loving dreamers, because with their torment they will always lead superior lives than those who content themselves with mere happiness.