If you are born straight, if you are born white, and if you are born male, this is basically who you get to be:

Paris Hilton

You’ve basically won the lottery of life without ever having to put in any effort. Life is obviously not all sunshine and rainbows, just as Paris HIlton has her own issues that she has to deal with, but being born into that holy trinity of privilege is basically being born into wealth compared to being born into poverty. We lucked out. Being straight means we never have to worry about having the living shit curb-stomped out of us simply because of our sexual orientation; being white means we’ll never be passed over for a job simply for having a racial sounding name (http://www.cbsnews.com/2100-201_162-575685.html); and having the ol’ cock’n’balls dangling between our legs means we’re unlikely to be treated any differently in the work place.

We’re not under any kind of threat. There’s a reason that white people don’t get upset when they’re called a Honky, and it’s because white people already have this continent by the balls. There is nothing in our culture that threatens white people, so if a threat is issued it is taken light-heartedly, almost tongue-in-cheek. Same with heterosexuals; same with being a dude. If we are any one of those things, it’s just one less issue we have to worry about. It’s gotten to the point where our trinity is not even talked about as a thing that exists. For example, when you hear the term “gender studies”, you probably think of women’s issues, despite men having a gender as well.

So now hopefully I’ve convinced you why being a straight, white male is awesome (not that we’re inherently awesome, but just that life is nicer to us for no god damn reason at all. Louis CK puts it pretty nicely: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TG4f9zR5yzY ) So now why should gays/blacks/women get time put aside in order to celebrate them? Because a lot of the time, they are just crapped on every single day of the year. And somebody that is told over and over again that they are garbage, will eventually begin to actually believe that they are garbage.

We don’t need a week for us straight/white/men because we already won. It’d be like giving Donald Trump a celebratory hooker simply for existing. Trump doesn’t need to be given hookers; he already has enough hookers as it is.

Because we are not an equal society, we need to raise up those who weren’t born into privilege so that we can at least make an attempt at creating an equal society.  So yes, we try to put aside some time to tell gay people that they’re awesome. To tell racial minorities that they’re awesome. To tell women that they are awesome. So be proud.


I’m going to throw in a little post-script here to address specifically one of the main reasons I hear people complaining about these pride weeks, and all the other celebrations of minorities “I had it rough growing up too, even though I’m one or all of those descriptors. So where’s my week??” Maybe it was because of poverty (I would actually love a Poverty Awareness month), or obesity, or a severe lack of personal hygiene, or any other number of factors that make life tough. And yes, those things can be extremely difficult to overcome . But although you may have had problems, however genuine they might have been, you never faced a problem because of your race, gender, or sexual orientation.