Peter Worley is an educator keen on teaching philosophy to youngsters. One of his teaching methods is to gather together objects to create a humanoid shape, and ask his students how many things there are. You can listen to a podcast of him doing exactly this here:
https://philosophynow.org/podcasts/Primary_School_Philosophy

Now, to prove I’m smarter than a 10 year old, which my cripplingly low self-esteem demands that I do, I will offer my humble outcomes on how this thought experiment plays out.

So here is our object(s?):

Isn't it lovely? This took me two minutes and a small chance of copyright infringement to make.

Isn’t it lovely? This took me two minutes and a small chance of copyright infringement to make.

So how many things? I think most people’s gut reaction will be that there are six things, each meticulously stolen from a Google Image search. Four pencils, plus a book, plus a ball equals six things. But if you’re going to break something down into its parts, you have to realize that each pencil is going to be made up of wood, lead, paint, and whatever the hell eraser is made out of. The ball will have air, plastic, and other… ball parts, I guess. I don’t know what’s in a ball; cut me some slack. And so on with the book.

Of course, you’ll have to go further and further until you reach the atomic scale, because stopping at the materials level would simply be arbitrary. Now you’re counting neutrons, electrons, and protons, and you might as well just say fuck it and announce that there are an infinite number of things, because nobody is counting that bullshit.

Now perhaps there was a keener among you that said there are only three things. There are pencils, a book, and a ball. That makes three. Aren’t you sharp. These would be the Platonic Forms. Plato suggested that behind our perceived reality is an actual reality, and this actual reality has Forms that our perceived reality would just be variations of. So if you want to know about “pencils”, for instance, you have to study the Form of pencils, and then you can deduce on our perceptions of them. We all have an Idea as to what a pencil is, and then our perception of pencils would just be variations on that.

Unfortunately for Plato, I disagree with his theory. There are infinite variations on things, to the point where trying to define something’s “Form” becomes impossible. We project the idea of “pencil” out into the universe; there is no objective universe projecting the Form of a pencil into us.

So it’s not three. Sorry, keeners.

Maybe there were a few of you who took pity on my Clipart concoction and said, you know what? That thing is humanoid enough, I’ll say that it’s one thing. Bless you, kind sir or madam. Of course, if you claim my clearly multi-object’ed object is one, then you’ll have to say that its surroundings are one as well because we’ve already established that the Platonic Forms are nonsense. The table it would be sitting on in a non-digital example of this experiment would be part of it, as well as the floor. If this abomination of a humanoid shape is one, then the whole universe is one. Congratulations, you’re a Buddhist.

Lastly, there could be two things. The object, and the subject. Whatever is out there that I’m looking at, and the I that is doing the looking. There is something that is me that is separate from whatever is outside of me. That would be two.

So when asked, “How many things are there?” You can answer one, two, or infinite. What do each of these answers mean? Maybe you should read a philosophy book and find out, you scrub.

First, all aspects of life are conducted in the same place and under the same central authority. Second, each phase of the member’s daily activity is carried on in the immediate company of a large batch of others, all of whom are treated alike and required to do the same thing together. Third, all phases of the day’s activities are tightly scheduled, with one activity leading at a prearranged time time into the next, the whole sequence of activities being imposed from above by a system of explicit formal rulings and a body of officials. Finally, the various enforced activities are brought together into a single plan purportedly designed to fulfill the official aims of the institution.

This is a quotation by sociologist Erving Goffman, defining the structured format of certain institutions. I think we all had initial impressions about what institutions Goffman was describing, but his intended focus was to illustrate the similar natures of nursing homes and prisons. Of course, it’s easy to see how the educational system fits into this format as well. There are definitely others. Feel free to keep them in mind, and come to your own conclusions.

This rigid, structuring mentality comes from the great Industrial Revolution, where everything became a process built for optimum efficiency. We reduce everything into their base parts, and use assembly line tactics to create a product. We’ve broken down schooling into different faculties to allegedly ease education: reading, writing, and ‘rithmetic, as the old saying goes. Similarly with nursing homes, we’ve isolated what medically keeps human beings alive, and attempted a system that perpetuates that for as long as the body allows. Then, with logical efficiency, we lay out these programs like clockwork, dragging the participants along for their own good. It is a “good” thing to be educated, as well as, you know, alive, so these institutions are considered a necessary foundation for life as our culture dictates.

That is until you realize that these same processes are used as the punishment we have decided is appropriate for the ne’er-do-wells of our society. The same reason that little Johnny doesn’t want to go to school, the same reason that Grandma Betty doesn’t want to go into the nursing home, is the same reason Roy “Mad Dog” Earle would rather suicide-by-cop than go back to jail. Yes, there is abuse that occurs in prison that could lead to the aversion we have for it, but as prevalent as that is, it is not universal. Even those doling out the violence in prison are unlikely to want to go back. Also keep in mind the abuse that occurs both in schools and in nursing homes. It’s almost as if a dominating power dynamic can have frightening consequences? Another blog, maybe.

It seems that human beings inherently reject structured regulation of their lives. Scratch that, we are creatures of habit and often find it comforting, so that’s probably not the issue. The issue is having structure imposed on us from the outside. We don’t crave recess as kids because running around is more “fun” than learning. Ask anyone who reads, or chooses to take night classes, or likes documentaries… Learning is not the antithesis to a child’s happiness. Humans, at every stage of our lives, require autonomy. We love recess because it allows us to choose how we spend our time. We need to be the author of our own story.

Why would we do this to our children and our elderly? Prisons are meant to break the spirit; it seems more than a little dastardly to apply the same mechanics to both our future and our past. One theory is that my ideals of education and safety trump your concerns for personal autonomy. It is the parents who sentence their children to schooling out of love, just as the children in time condemn their parents to the nursing home. We want what’s best for them, and the promises of these institutions play in to what we believe to be their best interest, even if they disagree. We make their choice.

A more cynical answer would be that the education system is a Machiavellian ploy to crush the spirits of our youth, so as to soften them up for the world of capitalism, wherein the workplace runs in the same assembly line fashion as our structured institution model. Would anyone really serve up fries to assholes or churn out TPS reports if they hadn’t already become broken in some fundamental way?

More likely we’re just stuck in an antiquated paradigm where streamlined efficiency is the trump card that begets our cultural attitudes. We send Grandma Betty to the nursing home, despite everyone involved realizing that it’s terrible, because we are blind to alternatives. Of course, just like all paradigms, this one too is beginning to shift. There is a growing prevalence of assisted living facilities, where tenants essentially live on their own, but with measures in place that allow for care to be given if and when the time calls for it. There are even experimental schools that allow for child-driven learning, that allow the child to explore what they will, with a teacher only to provide guidance and assistance.

Maybe you think a child left to learn on their own would not actively pursue education. Like a child asking “why?” all the time isn’t a trope, or a child running off to explore doesn’t happen, or a child poking and playing with something out of natural curiosity is a fantasy. If you think that they won’t learn about anything that might lead to them getting a paying job, then you’re playing into my cynical answer, and fine, sure, but also keep in mind that that’s terrible. You’re terrible. Let’s break someone so they’re contented enough to sell fucking hamburgers. That’s an improvement.

Maybe these experiments will fail, but we will have to find alternatives. This current model is woefully obsolete. Human beings need freedom. We need to choose our own paths. A society that systematically attempts to break that freedom is a society of slavery.

Post-Script: This post brought to you in part by the book Being Mortal, by Atul Gawande. Y’all should read it.

You know what’s a silly concept? Intellectual property rights. You create something, it goes out into the world, and if somebody wants to use it, they have to give you money. Seems harmless enough, but imagine if all the work a brilliant scientist did on cancer research was copyrighted. Not only would all pharmaceuticals and therapies derived from that research cost extra money for the royalties for that scientist, but any further research on cancer would have a similar financial barrier.

Say there’s another brilliant scientist further down the road, who, if they had access to this research, would be able to cure cancer. Everyone loves curing cancer; that’s why we all wear pink and grow ridiculous mustaches. Who wouldn’t want those irritating trends to be a thing of the past? And I guess a deadly illness would be gone too. However, with copyright, this brilliant scientist would have to cough up any and all royalties before they could even begin. What if this genius doesn’t have those funds? If there is an inherent initial obstacle that must be overcome for any additional research to be done on curing cancer, potentially preventing a groundbreaking boon to society, then we have a deficient system.

Any progress-minded individual would agree that any technology, be it medical or otherwise, should not be stymied by something as petty as money. Ethical reasons, maybe, but that ship has sailed long ago. If we want our society to improve, then removing barriers to those improvements should be a top priority. Tesla Motors, for example, recognized that the more people working on electric cars, the better off society will be, and put all their patents into the public domain.

Just as with technology, culture too is degraded by copyright. Arguably the greatest rock and roll band of all time, Led Zeppelin,  “stole” a solid percentage of their music. Johnny Cash may have stolen a song or two as well. As did The Beach Boys, Elvis Presley… Now, I’m not making a moral judgement about proper crediting, and I don’t want to get into white people stealing music from black people, but I will say this: the songs that Led Zeppelin, Johnny Cash, The Beach Boys, and Elvis produced were wildly successful because they were great songs. Taurus by Spirit is a good song, sure, but Stairway to Heaven is the best song. Ice Ice Baby is probably not a better song than Under Pressure, but they can’t all be winners. There will always be bad with the good. Do we eliminate Stairway to Heaven simply to prevent Ice Ice Baby?

Art can move us and inspire us. It can create a revolution or end one. Art motivates us politically, socially, and even artistically, and following the same logic as technological copyright, it is absurd to place a barrier on something that can drive us forward. What if Johnny Cash couldn’t afford the rights to Crescent City Blues? Walk Hard taught me that he was a poor country boy; it’s not an impossible idea. My childhood would be a lot different if I didn’t have my dad singing me old Johnny Cash tunes.

Of course, even beyond the pointless concept of copyright laws, within capitalism copyright get super capitalistic. In Canada, copyright extends for the entirety of your life, and then 50 years after that because we all know how much your grotesque, decomposing corpse needs pocket change. In the US, it’s 70 years after you die. If the purpose of copyright is to protect the creator’s rights, why does it extend past the very existence of those creators? John Oliver has his own critique of patents and their ridiculous cash-grab nature, wherein he discusses organizations that exist solely to purchase patents, and then sue the shit out of people. They don’t actually create anything, they just possess wealth and then use that wealth to fuck people over in an effort to accumulate more wealth.

So is the answer to abolish copyright and get rid of this detriment to human society? Unfortunately, no.

When creating something, it takes time and money. If the product of that creativity is given away for free, or pirated, or whatever, then that time and money is gone with nothing tangible to show for it. Which would be fine from a collective, short-term standpoint, sure, but that individual is now fucked. And if creative people are routinely fucked, we will eventually run out of creative people. If Gordon Jenkins didn’t get recompense from Johnny Cash, there might not be more Gordon Jenkinses in the future, and if there are no more Gordon Jenkinses, there would be no more Johnny Cashes.

So long as money is required to live a normal life, we need copyright laws to protect the labour of creative individuals even if the entire concept of copyright is insane. So long as capitalism exists, we need pointless laws to function. It’s almost like I’m driving at something here…