Sharks are just genetically superior to all the other fish. Their skull structures are built slightly different to allow for higher brain function. Any other fish that performs well is simply “one of the good ones.” The ocean was markedly better before the schools of fish desegregated and allowed other fish access to previously “shark-only” facilities.
We celebrate sharks because fuck all those other lesser creatures of the sea.
Shark Power! Shark Power!
If you are born straight, if you are born white, and if you are born male, this is basically who you get to be:
You’ve basically won the lottery of life without ever having to put in any effort. Life is obviously not all sunshine and rainbows, just as Paris HIlton has her own issues that she has to deal with, but being born into that holy trinity of privilege is basically being born into wealth compared to being born into poverty. We lucked out. Being straight means we never have to worry about having the living shit curb-stomped out of us simply because of our sexual orientation; being white means we’ll never be passed over for a job simply for having a racial sounding name (http://www.cbsnews.com/2100-201_162-575685.html); and having the ol’ cock’n’balls dangling between our legs means we’re unlikely to be treated any differently in the work place.
We’re not under any kind of threat. There’s a reason that white people don’t get upset when they’re called a Honky, and it’s because white people already have this continent by the balls. There is nothing in our culture that threatens white people, so if a threat is issued it is taken light-heartedly, almost tongue-in-cheek. Same with heterosexuals; same with being a dude. If we are any one of those things, it’s just one less issue we have to worry about. It’s gotten to the point where our trinity is not even talked about as a thing that exists. For example, when you hear the term “gender studies”, you probably think of women’s issues, despite men having a gender as well.
So now hopefully I’ve convinced you why being a straight, white male is awesome (not that we’re inherently awesome, but just that life is nicer to us for no god damn reason at all. Louis CK puts it pretty nicely: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TG4f9zR5yzY ) So now why should gays/blacks/women get time put aside in order to celebrate them? Because a lot of the time, they are just crapped on every single day of the year. And somebody that is told over and over again that they are garbage, will eventually begin to actually believe that they are garbage.
We don’t need a week for us straight/white/men because we already won. It’d be like giving Donald Trump a celebratory hooker simply for existing. Trump doesn’t need to be given hookers; he already has enough hookers as it is.
Because we are not an equal society, we need to raise up those who weren’t born into privilege so that we can at least make an attempt at creating an equal society. So yes, we try to put aside some time to tell gay people that they’re awesome. To tell racial minorities that they’re awesome. To tell women that they are awesome. So be proud.
I’m going to throw in a little post-script here to address specifically one of the main reasons I hear people complaining about these pride weeks, and all the other celebrations of minorities “I had it rough growing up too, even though I’m one or all of those descriptors. So where’s my week??” Maybe it was because of poverty (I would actually love a Poverty Awareness month), or obesity, or a severe lack of personal hygiene, or any other number of factors that make life tough. And yes, those things can be extremely difficult to overcome . But although you may have had problems, however genuine they might have been, you never faced a problem because of your race, gender, or sexual orientation.
One thing I’ve noticed, being a straight, white, cisgendered, heteronormative, able-bodied male, is that people feel comfortable enough around me to crack jokes at the expense of entire groups of individuals. Gays, Jews, people of colour, women, etc. all typically suffer through sometimes awful, and even sometimes clever jokes at their expense, usually behind the safety of closed doors.
For the most part, these are, in fact, jokes. *Usually* these people are in favour of equal rights, equal opportunity, anti-bullying, etc. and don’t intend to cause harm with their words, and are often in full belief that no damage is done in telling them.
So if you’re one of these people, I am here to tell you that you’re wrong, and you’re stupid.
What you might have failed to notice is that we live in a culture where homophobia, sexism, racism, and other bad things are still kind of rampant. We live in a shit culture. Bullying continues to exist; people are continually being denied rights; there is an abundance of prejudice, bigotry, and all those things that you claim not to participate in. And maybe you don’t.
But when you make an offensive joke, it perpetuates that culture. It desensitizes the listener, and the teller as well, to the plight that is suffered by those who are affected by those lists of words I keep using but really don’t feel like typing out again.
Offensive jokes normalize oppression. What you may not realize is that when you’re telling that joke, whether you intend it or not, it makes the assumption that that kind of behaviour is the norm. People will hear that joke, and then when they witness or even commit negative actions like harassment or intolerance, they may not even recognize it as such but just think that it’s “funny”, and that anyone that disagrees is just simply suffering from “butt hurt-ism”. Meanwhile the person who actually feels the full force of the brutality is left with the shit end of the stick while you’re trying to justify why what you do is actually okay.
The other thing is the listener. While you might be a hell of a nice person, those laughing may be laughing for the “it’s funny cuz it’s true!” reasons, and you’re making this person feel as though their intolerant thoughts are acceptable.
An easy way to tell: ask what the person at the brunt of the joke would think, and then ask what the person committing an atrocity against that person would think. For example, how would a rape victim feel about your rape joke? How would a rapist? If you feel as though a rapist might relate to you, then maybe you’ve got a problem with your sense of humour.
Blog for Chumps 